How do some couples think a person can be so “right” in one moment, only then to later think they are so “wrong?”
Do people really change that much, or conceal so well their true selves early on, eventually causing the other mate to question “who” or “why” they married?
Yes, perhaps so, but I don’t think it is as often as we too quickly accept. It might even only be true for a minority of couples.
Of course, there are exceptions, but only if you’ve recently discovered you married a serial killer or rapist, thief or criminal, abusive or cheating spouse, child molester and so on…you get the point.
But for many people who might be asking the “right” person question, it’s most likely not from any kind of extreme revelation like I’ve mentioned above. For a good majority, the question: did I marry the “right” person? may in fact, not even be the right or most helpful question to be asking after you’re married anyhow.
Perhaps we should ask this first: Is it possible the questioning may have more to do with the realization you both have somehow drifted apart, rather than about your mate being the “right” person?
I suspect and think this is true for many married couples. Secondly, if you are already married, the “right” question might actually now be more about you than it is about your spouse.
The real issue, first and foremost, may not be whether you married the right person; but rather ARE YOU BEING the right person? Just think, what would marriages, homes, and families be like if every married person took that seriously.
“It’s far more important to be the right kind of person than it is to marry the right person. In short, whether you married the right or wrong person is primarily up to you.” –Zig Ziglar
Have you honestly considered that how you’re treating your spouse can make all the difference? It could all come down to you and how committed you are to being the right kind of person.
For some, the strength of commitment in a marriage varies; it’s only as strong and deep as what they feel emotionally or physically toward the other at a given moment; ‘I felt you were the “right” person yesterday, but today I feel differently.’
Maybe a better way to understand commitment would be to compare it to bungee jumping. When you take that step off the platform, you are committed to follow through. The real reward of exhilaration is in the follow through after the jump.
Here’s an even better question to ask: Is commitment a direction to be pursued as long as it works, or is it a direction to be pursued until it works?
Your spouse being the “right” person might have everything to do with you being the “right” person—the person who follows through with what and with whom they committed to.