My Dad’s Been Gone 32 Years

32 years ago today my dad lost a battle with cancer at age 34–I was 12.

I’ll never forget the morning my mother sat us down to tell us he had passed, it was the single most painful day of my life to date.

But that traumatic event has largely shaped who I am today in some very positive ways.

Here are a few that come to mind today as I reflect back:

• I learned that life is too short to take any day or any person or any thing for granted. All of life is a gift and should be received with much gratitude [the joyful and the disappointing parts too]. When I’m grateful, I’m most fully alive!

• Being the oldest of four [two younger brothers and a sister], I learned quickly and instinctively to love, lead, and care for others in crisis moments even though I too was wounded myself. I think I became in that moment what Henri Nouwen calls a “wounded healer.” That ended up being a good incubator for a pastoral calling that was emerging out of my life.

• I learned that “faith in God” means abandoning outcomes that do not turnout the way I’d hope and yet still trusting God anyway. We all put faith in something. I can have faith in God or desired outcomes…but they are not the same!

• I experienced the self-sacrificial love of a mother that embodied the very nature of Christ so her children would know and experience Christ’s presence daily despite the overwhelming sense of loss.

• I learned that although I no longer had an earthly father, I was not fatherless.

God is a capable “father to the fatherless” ps 68:5. God’s words are true and he never leaves us alone!

I’ve grown to understand and trust that no matter how dark the darkness, devastating the loss, or deep the despair, God is never distant but always near.

Three Thoughts and Prayers for Someone:

If you’ve lost a father or have been abandoned by one, know that God’s near and can heal you.

If you’re a father, and not acting like one, pray for God’s help and know things can change.

If you’re a wonderful father to your own children, please pray for opportunities to reflect the heart and love of God to those who are fatherless and who need to know they’re not alone.

Needing Some Father’s Love?

Play this video clip and I pray God’s Spirit will visit you and you’ll know He’s near!